Life Changing Experience

Last Night was the second night of the Freedom Talk in City Church. Basically, the main purpose of this talk is to give a understanding to the listeners what went wrong in their life, and how it effects their life even until today. The problem inside of them will not go away, they have to take a journey of healing with God in order to that.
the problems might be Abuse, Rejection, or a traumatic experience.

I looked at my brother, we smiled... because i knew he was once a rejected child among his friends... just because he reads more than them. ALOT more!~

So i thought to myself, what made me this bitter person?!/ what made me this dude that can literally think of beating up a kid when he annoy the crap out of me/ what made me this dude that is so sensitive and get pissed so easily even by the most petty things/ what made me this dude that can use words So sharp to cut a person's feeling/ a dude that can careless of other's feeling and be so selfish often.

I prayed for God's forgiveness. I felt so bad of taking out my anger on other people (friends/family) so often and saying things that i didn't mean to. I told the Lord that i would change, i plead God to heal me... and i wept. I felt a sense of relief when the pastor prayed for me. As if all my pain and hurts gone away in that second.

As i look back at my life, so often people ask me ... Why you hate kids so much?
And i always answer them the same answer - I Had A TERRIBLE CHILDHOOD.

Evidence to prove that~ i almost drowned in Sipadan Island
~ i have a huge accident in a toy factory, i twisted my arms badly when
my arms got stuck in one of the machine for hours.
~ I had multiple injuries by falling from objects... careless child!

my nickname in the family : Accident BOY

Sounds like a stupid action hero name doesn't it?! Well, my family thinks that is funny i was the kid that just LOVE to get himself into trouble and accident.

My childhood is considered GOOD ... compared to kids who their own parents reject them and wish they never born. I had everything when i was a child, my parents loved me- i know...
its just words that comes out from them can really effect me so much .. they don't realise that~

i am just thankful that GOD heals. I kow i can change~ i will...