self

updated my blog template for the last time.
hope this Look will last longer.

college has been the same.
my view on college has changed abit.
on making new friends...
on experiencing campus life...
on achieving good result..(trying at least)...
all these, i feel that i was really stupid to be charged and thrilled because of the petty shit before.

Now... my views? will update soon.
now still trying to study for mocks

Bye!

today was an emotional day for me.
Bing Bing- an international student from China, a good friend from my cell group went back China for good. WE (some cell members, church members & church leaders) went KLIA to sent her off.
I woke up around 5.30 and got ready to go KLIA.
met the whole bunch at McDs. after breakfast... it was time to send Bing Bing and her mom off to China. We prayed for her... and tears started flowing from her and her closer friends.
i've only known her 5 months... but she was already like a big sister to me.
She was always positive, ever caring and encouraging... trully a blessing in my life.
i cried abit i guess (not ashame.. hehe)// won't be able to find someone like her any time soon.

self

currently listening to 2pac's 'unconditional love' .

It's about his love for his brothaS whos smoking crack , drug dealing and doing time- those who are struggling trying to change their ways.

reminds me about AGAPE love( God's Unconditional Love) for us...
we[just like 2pac's brothas] are trying to change our ways...
Though we sin ever so often, God always forgive us and continue loving his children..
and yea "UNCONDITIONAL LOVE".

(25th september- updated post)
contentment. i've got it. i've found it.
yesterday's young adult service in Glad Tidings Church was amazing.
Pastor Julie preached about the Miracles of God...
before that, i felt a peace in my heart /a sense of true joy during praise and worship.
its a great feeling to be loved. unconditionally~ by God.

blessed

21st of september.
yep. 1 day past my 18th birthday.
got surprised again by my cell members.
supposed to give my friend 'Bing Bing' from China a farewell...
we did that... but they sang the birthday song and brought out a cake for my out of the blue.
both Bing Bing and I got prayers from Karen (church leader).

so yea... blessed birthday indeed

picture is worth a thousand words.

i do not have a picture with me. So i'm gonna write more this time because i want to have a mental picture of today's awsome experience. Oh yea~ i experienced being 18 for the first time in my life!!
haha... lame~

okay.. i didn't really expect much for this year's birthday even though its my 18th birthday.
*like Kevin said- expect nothing. thats the recipe for contentment* i agree. haha

My past few birthdayS spent in Tawau was no different from a normal day only the additional dissapointment that my birthday was not as Fun ( people forget- nothing happened- still feel the same without any growth in my life ) as i thought it would have turn out to be.
~ What more KL ... when i've only been here about 6-7 months?! .~

i was wrong. Meng Jiew did a good job in planning a 'surprise' for me after college hours.
he bought a cake and invited many of our friends in college to join and enjoy the cake...
i felt touched/definitely ... not only because of the ' small celebration' but all the wishes i got before that in college and at home.

Got more birthday wishes here than i could hope for... (10 times more than Tawau i think.. haha) appreciated more here.~ i sure hope so! hehe

had dinner with my brother and sister in Pizza Hut.
i am totally satisfied with my 18th birthday.

the 18th birthday experience of getting drunk?... i think i am going to skip that.
not supposed to get drunk- can drink larr-if u guys ajak- haha!!

to those that have made my day. God Bless you guyz... and i love you guys to pieces... well , some of ya~! haha... You know who you are!~

self

yesterday's church service was refreshing.
it was about the gift of Holy Spirit. Though there is only 1 God, we believe in the holy trinity which is the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit.

The gift to Non Believers is Salvation ( Son).
The gift to Believers is the Holy Spirit.

both requires faith.

I think i have been missing the direct contact with the 'supernatural'. My relationship with God / my walk has been shaky for the past few weeks. Never really welcomed the Holy Spirit.

Oh yea, i am thirsty... thirsty for the power of God to fill me and the Holy Spirit to move-filling the gaps in area of weakness in my life.

[request]: prayers.

Me Time (September)

hey, my birthday is this coming tuesday.
nope.. no celebrations. Got test a day before and after the day itself.
So yea, unless i buy a cake for myself and sing the birthday song to myself (having a blast by myself)... i'll be studying for the test too.

so if i was going to have 'that' blast, i did it on the weekend. today lar. I got myself a new bag and watched ' Cinderella Man' by myself.

Cinderella Man. an oscar worthy show with brilliant performance by Russell Crowe and Renee Zellweger with Paul Giamatti.

Based on a true story heroism of Jim Braddock-A depression-era fighter and folk hero.
He was a potential young champion during his prime only to have his dreams shattered by constant injuries.
He started losing after that and couldn't get good fights. It was 4 years into the great depression and he struggled with poverty(just like many other person during that time).
He had to work in shifts to earn a small amount of money (not enough to pay his electric bill, and milk for the family).
Slowly... he fight his way back to the top and beat Max Baer (killed 2 people in the ring during the fight itself) for the world championship title.

after watching the movie, i tried to save my money. cancelled whatever plan to buy new pants and shoes.

go watch it! awsome show

Cinderella Man

tak jadi!!!

oh. i decided to pierce my ears on this very day.
my dad was okay with it when i told him about it a few weeks ago. mom wasn't really happy with the idea though... how would she be? .. there's only enough room for one ketiak. (bro) in my family.

the idea actually came about during the holidays and when i wanted a change. so, i've been thinking about it ever since.

i chicken out in the end i guess...
~ too much negative comments. example: i'll look funny, i'll look LALA/Ah Beng (useless punks in the streets of M'Sia nowadays) and what people impression of me in the future will be like (as if i give a shit).

~imagine what will my church leaders do to me. / not that is a sin, but i have no good reason in piercing my ears either... i had no personal issues or lack of self confidence because of my looks.

~ i think it will really affect how i present myself to others, ( Very NOT ME- whatever that means, because i am still searching for an answer for that too)

oh well... no more. whoever told me not to do it wins!

Sweet!

one of the best stand up comedians out there - Russell Peters.
known for his unique brand of comedy, Russell Peters explores attitudes towards race in a way that is fresh, surprising, hard-hitting and at times controversial.

thanks to Kevin's constant 'spot on' immitation of him in college, i find myself bursting into laughter every time...So yea, i just had to watch the real thing for myself.
I watched it... loved it. My bro watched it...loved it.
here is the link . download the full thing.

[other news]: 'the practice' is back on Tv. Woohoo

oh yea, Russell Peters swears. [ just in case]
'at times controversial?' ... watch it!

High

i am high on caffeine.
its 3.40 am. almost finish studying for my econs test.
my body is literally shaking. This is my first time feeling this way.
i drank 2 '3 in 1 white coffee', i don't think i had too much coffee. I'm quite used to drinking 2 at a time... since 1 is alway not enough (whether it is the coffee itself or the impact 'KICK /UMPH')
although this is my first time drinking 2 packs of white coffee.
good to know i actually can last this late at night studying. haha... not really. the coffee don't reduce my boredom in revising any ways.

[Thoughts]:
For this past few weeks, there have been many unfortunate events/news in our newspaper. First it was the Hurricane Katrina that whiped out half of New Orleans in the States. Then, there was an airplane crash at a housing area in Medan...
NOW, Middlesbrough won ARSEnal?! (wait, thats not bad news at all)... haha!!!

my apologies

what do i do when my friends invited me to watch a movie with them?
i ditched them. Yea, my bad.
it was the movie "creep"... can't even go through the toughts of watching that crappy(from reviews) show for 2 hours. So i decided to have abit of a 'me' time since my week wasn't the most cheerful one. instead of watching the movie with them, i went home (air-cond on, with my favourite junk food and better tv shows).. hehe. Before i took a cab back from pyramid..

oh yes!~ I ditch them in the Cinema (Pyramid) after much thinking//- i felt guilty,
but not as guilty as how stupid i would be to watch "creep".

.. before taking the cab back, i had a craving for VIKINGS HOTDOGS. So, went to grab a bite alone then went home.

Today is a special day for me because its my first time worship leading in cell group EvER!
it went alright despite the lack of preparation... got lots of encouragement though :-)

highlights of my day : VIKING CHEESE HOTDOG
:before cell, went Burger King for my dinner. BK *french Chicken* is the
best sandwich i ever tasted in my life. no kiddin.. love it!
:Worship Leading

- I very the sleepy... wants to sleeping very the soon. (preffered english slang nowadays)

back to stage one

remembering the time when i first entered Sunway College australian matriculation programme.
I know i try really hard making new friends there. However, i kiss little asses to fit in groups and gangs. i was being my sarcastic & funny self right from the beginning on the first day of AusMat.

after bitchin abit how popular people are like in KL, i eventually ended up being accepted and being one of them. Cool huh?..
Though i never liked the idea of gangs like how the popular people in church was always together and even in secondary school.
I wanted to fit in- even when backstabbing often happen or being yourself wasn't the best option. But hey, not that hard anyways. Just have to kiss the right asses to be accepted for someone you are not!~

AusMat was abit different. I could easily fit in. I minimize the act or mask i had to put on if i were to be friends with certain people. I either walk away or do not hang out with them at all so none of my thoughts might cause any problems.

so yea... now i'm back at stage 1. That's what some people have told me this few days at least.
why?~ coz its as if i am tryin to look for the suitable click to hang out with...
I walk alone in college most of the time//
new module - new gang?.. no way!~

thoughts: I have no idea what i just blog. maybe its what i feel at the moment. i still don't have the answers to why i'm back at stage 1.
and.. CraP~! mocks are just 3 weeks away. this sucks.

Pain Killer

icq nickname: Pain Killer.
yep, thats me!!! one of my earliest nicknames used in ICQ/
Self proclaimed 'Alternative' for pills to kill off pain/problems.

Used to give chics advice on relationship as if i know what guy's intentions are, why they are being jerks, where did the chic's relationship went wrong or just their typical everyday problems.
Good Old Days, actually... i ain't no pro in giving advice rather a really good listener.

2-3 years pass by... still ain't in no relationship, So... still listening to friends bitching on relationship gone wrong. Only difference is that these relationship stuff are much more complicated as I'm listening to college peer's complicated shitz.

My college life~ i actually thought that my strenght were included in people skillz and how i could serve God. When i couldn't find any area i could serve HIM, i actually felt a voice telling me that I'm a good friend... and its a huge contribution to HIS Kingdom.
I took actions, i was an Encourager. Being positive and also standing by a friend when they're feeling down.

i'm feeling useless now coz my good friend is feeling hopeless. What can i do? bible verses won't be much help as my friend is a free thinker. The other problem is i'm kinda emotionally attached to the problem faced. I was too involved in that situation before. Doing something about it will most probably make things worst.. so i feel the pain my friend is experiencing.

pain killer?.. maybe those that'll disolve in water first...
So plz . just drown me!

Life is going well

Friday (03 September 2005). after hearing so many of my friends having the time of their life on the -Merdeka- holiday while i listen to them remembering myself standing outside the bulcany of my flat whitnessing the fireworks only...
Oh Boi!~ something had to make up for all those missed opportunity of FUN!!
So, plans that were made -> Hang out with friends in pyramid after college. [Y]
->Watch Dark Water - latest horror movie. [Y]
->eat till we drop in Hertz Chicken Buffet [Y]

plans that came all of a sudden -> to go clubbin' with Dave,Nat & Shobz [N]
->Cell members OuTing in 1 Utama. [Y]

*sorry guys* couldn't join the fun clubbin with y'all~ next time kay!

So afternoon [2.30- 6.15] watched Dark Water.
my review= starless. its Flippin' rubbish.
when the show was running over an hour and still without a horror scene, i just thought i that the director might be using "The Exorcist" style... which is showing the great relationship between the mom and her daughter and then scare the viewers to Da Max with all the problems faced by the daughter (often connected to the GHOST). The Build up to the horror scenes of the movie IS THE WHOLE MOVIE. there was not 1 scary/horror scene in this so-called horror film. When the show was over, normally i would be relieve because of a crappy movie has ended~ not this one, i pulled my hair out.. shouted OMG! It was THAT bad..
even worst than Paris Hilton's debut in House Of Wax.
Chicken Buffet was okay. Satisfying!!! chilled with Suet Yi,Heng Seng and eVa.

got a phone call from David Lee (Cell Leader) inviting me to go 1 Utama which i already decided not to go (I was chillin in Pyramid half way)..
however, its not that often i get to walk in 1 U. So what the heck , just go larr. with cell members

watched "Duke Of Hazzards"
review *Its a light and Fun experience*..
despite hearing so many critism and jokes on this movie, i thought that this movie is one good 'RELAXin' show. Its funny, has quite a lot of action, jessica simpson.........
..........
??what was i talking about again?.. was thinking of something else there.. nvm. 1 thumb up!

tired now- will start studying tomorrow.

Dark water 

Dark water (2005)