My Life MUST GO ON!!!

Me: (thinking), shit! why got people sitting in my seat?!
Dude: Is this your seat?
Me: ya! ( thinking that he will appologize and get the fuck off)
Dude: Oh.............okie, how arr?
Me: (thinking) What the FUCK?! He certainly has the balls!!!I am SO gonna Rip them off if he doesn't get out from my bloody seat!

- This was what happened in a formal dinner earlier tonight-

After he asked me the fucking stupid question (how arr?), he and his friend went to some place else to sit.
IN FRONT OF ME THAT IS, what a good view... If I had decided to go bulimic~! pieces of shit!

~ now.... i know i am very cruel to use these crude words on them, i am feeling bad in a way too. I know!

but NO, i am not feeling guilty of saying all these things about them, but i feel pretty bad of how REAL i can be , how i just can't pretend to just accpet them and how i could hate someone till this extend! Why can't i be a hypocrite just like everyone else?!

There is a reason why i hate this "dude" in the first place. I still remember... when i was only primary 1, this dude was primary 2 prefect who loves to over use his power. So u can imagine/ even when i was so small, i dislike this particular person. Each time i see him, the more annoyed i got, and the more annoyed i got, the bigger my hatred got. I am feeling so bad for having these much hatred and anger in me. As a christian, i should forgive others if i want God to forgive me. But the "dude" haven't sin againts me, I have nothing to forgive him... I just dislike his ass~ Lord Help Me! why can't i just accept him as who he is (this freakin annoying guy!) just like how U accept everyone for who they are?!

Same goes to everyone i hated or hate, i don't want to continue my life like this. I am going to forgive everyone who has pissed me off badly in the pass and have a fresh start, without any hate in my heart~